✨The Dos✨ Healthy narcissism, homemade cashew milk and looking at the view
In which I uncover Ted Lasso as my idol
Hi, hello, greetings! Welcome to ✨The Dos✨, a bi-weekly note passed to you with a healthy dose (yup) of things I’m reading, considering, doing and loving. If you don’t know how you got here (but you’re sort of enjoying yourself), here, subscribe! I’d love to have you, and if you send me a note, I’ll always try to write back.
It’s June 1 (what), almost halfway through 2021 (I can’t even) and I’m talking to strangers again in the park (thank you, science!). Donny Hahn is an incredible oil painter whose work I walked into (literally, it was lined up along the sidewalk at the entrance of Golden Gate Park) over the weekend. What a nice guy. He told my friend and me about his oil painting process, answered our questions about his California landscapes and then said, “Go ahead, take a picture!”
I’ve really missed these casual exchanges with strangers — artists, baristas, waiters, a person who smiles as they walk by. I love these little conversations and I’m so glad they’re back. Let’s jump in.
Read & Listened
A thread on 40 concepts by a psychoanalytic psychologist: Certain terms like “gaslighting” get a lot of airtime (even if misused), but most concepts on this list were new to me. Omnipotent fantasy? The good enough parent? Healthy narcissism? I had no idea. Here’s what Dr. Anhalt says about healthy narcissism, by the way: “Narcissism has a bad rap but we all need a bit of it. Healthy narcissism is believing in yourself while maintaining an ability to enjoy the success of others. Kids whose belief in themself is not supported seek validation in unhealthy ways throughout life.”
This thread is gold and a great jumping off point for more investigation.
Ted Lasso! Everyone who told me I’d love this show was right. OMG, it is such a joyful watch. Jason Sudeikis is fantastic as the ever-optimistic lead and the writing is excellent/so fast/my kind of humor. When I read the title character was inspired by Robin Williams in various mentor roles (Aladdin, Good Will Hunting), it all made sense. I’m thrilled season two premieres in July and this quote really hit the nail on the head re: why I love the show: “(The character) is rooted in these teachers here, and mentors, these Obi-Wan Kenobi types that see more in you than you can see in yourself, and that optimism.” I want to be Ted Lasso. 😭
Relationship-ped
Brought cashew milk for a good time: I went over to my friends’ house for dinner the other evening, and along with wine I brought homemade cashew milk. CASUAL (casual milk?), I know. I’ve been living in California for almost a decade and yes, this is a data point to support the fact that it’s rubbing off on me. But, in my defense, we live in a world of high-speed blenders and plant-based milks! And, this cashew milk is delicious and has only five ingredients! Lol.
Bonus points for bringing it over in a cute Weck jar. And no, I don’t spell it mylk. Yet.
The morning after text: In which I pat myself on the back and smile because #friendswhoknowyourlovelanguage 😌
Reflected
A speech turned book: Anna Quindlen’s speech at Villanova University in 2000 struck such a note that it was turned into a book. I had forgotten I owned the book, but revisited it on a recent Saturday morning while drinking coffee. It still resonates. I hope you’ll read it. This specific quote from her speech has stuck with me for years.
“Look at the view, young lady. Look at the view.”
And every day, in some little way, I try to do what he said. I try to look at the view. And that's the last thing I have to tell you today, words of wisdom from a man with not a dime in his pocket, no place to go, nowhere to be. Look at the view. You'll never be disappointed.
Hope you’re doing well. And wherever you are, I hope you’re looking at the view.
Dos ✌️